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Babbling Brooke

A lot to do, A lot to say

Our Story

In my junior year of high school I was dating a boy for about a month and just really wasn’t in love… but I wanted to be. Deeply, completely, and overwhelmingly in love with someone. How beautiful does that sound?

Well, I decided the night before our homecoming dance that I did not want to be dating this boy anymore, so obviously I left him. I was a total douche bag for breaking up with him the night before homecoming. However, I knew damn well that I wouldn’t be happy having to introduce him to everyone and blah blah blah. I just wasn’t interested. The night that we broke up I had to perform at a football game. I was perfectly fine and went on as my goofy self.

Then this is where my fate set in. A super cute boy that I had been crushing on came up to me after I performed and told me how great I did. I had tried to get to know him the year prior but he was very obviously not interested in me. I then basically forgot about him and went on with my life… He then proceeded to ask me if he could dance with me at the dance the next day… of course I said yes! I thought about it the rest of the night. You know, like how cool you have to be when he walks up and asks for a dance, practice your cute smile and flip of your hair. I thought I had it all down… then it came to the dance.

I got there and a few other guys asked me to dance… of course I turned them down waiting for my prince charming to come and ask me for a dance. Finally, I had spotted him talking to one of his friends. My heart was racing and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. He started walking my way so my smart teenage self turned around to my friends to act like I hadn’t noticed him walking my way. He stood tall next to me, towering over me, and tapped me on the shoulder trying to get my attention. I turned around and smiled. We then began to dance, the way we moved together just felt right. We had the same rhythm.

So usually when a teenage dude asks you for a dance we wants one until a hotter girl shows up.. but he stayed with me. He stayed for the rest of the night. We danced and laughed and had the time of our lives. Then, a slow song played.

The song began and I was extremely nervous. I didn’t know if I was going to be awkward, or not be able to hold a conversation. I didn’t know how it was going to work out. Then, he looked right into my eyes and I melted. I felt the love that I had been wanting to feel. He felt so right. We danced, and we sang to the song playing. At one point I could tell he was going to lean in and kiss me… but that wasn’t the right place for our first kiss, not in front of a bunch of sweaty, horny, teenage kids. I turned my head away and pulled him closer. I wanted his heartbeat near mine, so he could feel the love that I was feeling.

Later that night I went home with my friends and was reflecting on the night. I was feeling thousands of emotions and I couldn’t get him out of my head. I thought it was just the night and we wouldn’t talk again… but then I received a text.

July 30th, 2016

Wowie! I know its been a while… well, longer than a while! Anyways, summer has been crazy and to the point where I completely forgot about my blog until now:’)  Having the blog be an assignment during the school year made things hard… but now I can write when and how much I please!

However, something on this blog will be changing. I have always wished I was better at keeping a journal, but struggle to enjoy handwriting because of my stupid “left-handedness.” The new change will be my titles will no longer be alliterations, but dates. Mostly dates so I can look back at my posts and rememer exactly when it was! Sorry to be so selfish, but I hope you enjoy!

Be back soon!

love, B

Continuing

To my readers,

The dear few… I will be continuing to blog, but not often, and not as long. I hope to provide more pictures, and more interesting stories rather than “clean” stories. I most likely will lose my filter on these upcoming blog posts, but this continuation of my blog, will be for my personal outlet.

I have learned a lot about blogging over the course of this year, and I have truly come to terms with it. I believe that by not having my blog be an assignment, I will enjoy and create more than before. I’m very grateful for what this year has taught me about myself through my blogs.

You, as readers, have endured the year with me. You went through rough times, and great accomplishments… I hope my upcoming year as a senior can bring more excitement and accomplishments than before.

For the readers who plan on staying on this site, my blog posts will be a little more me. For my senior year, I wanted to make my blog semi-like my personal journal. Sharing my experiences, problems, ideas and random thoughts with whomever sees my page. I understand that may be a little crazy and putting a lot of trust on the internet… but we’re all a little crazy sometimes. ALTHOUGH, don’t get me wrong here, I won’t be putting my location on blog posts, or personal names… nothing of that sort… I have to make you wonder about me somehow.

Also for my readers, I am questioning if I should keep my titles as alliterations or not… sometimes I feel the alliteration doesn’t leave much room for me to intrigue you as readers, or that it simply misses the final purpose to the blog post the title is being used for. Let me know your thoughts, if you’re reading this.

Another thought coming to my head, is that I don’t post many pictures.. I am thinking of adding a segment to this blog that works with my Instagram. For every picture I post on Instagram, I will post a blog telling you the story or the meaning or ANYTHING for my reasoning for posting my picture on Instagram… I will not, however, post the picture for there may be girls that I post on my Instagram that prefer not to be seen by my readers, and that is completely okay!

I hope you have enjoyed this year with me, and continue to read!

Brooke

Weight Work

I have been in the weight room, every other day for a couple months now, and I must say that it is different than expected.

Going into the weight room, I was expecting that a bunch of meat heads were going to judge me and tell me I shouldn’t be in there. COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! The boys in my class, and our instructor were amazing! They helped with max outs, they pushed me to be better, they believed in me when I didn’t think I could push myself any farther!

Creative Concepts

Adrian Furnham PhD, an organisational and applied psychologist, management expert and Professor of Psychology at University College London, posted on his blog, “A Sideways View”, about the common questions asked about creativity. He starts out his post by explaining why most scientists don’t spend their time trying to understand and answer the many questions about creativity. Within his first few paragraphs however, he asks the questions we are all thinking…

“Is creativity defined by a person, a product, a process or an environment? Can a person be creative without creating anything? If so, what are the personal characteristics of creative people? Can you have creative groups, rather than individuals, where somehow the group dynamic is the key to the creative process? Can you only really define creativity by the output of creative persons or groups? That is, creativity is best measured by tangible, agreed upon, outcomes.

Or is creativity a process? Is it the way painters sketch, writers scribble, sculptors carve, that makes them creative rather than some innate ability, drive or attitude? Or is it the environment that people or organisations engender that promotes creativity? Does one need funky murals, new age music, and a spirit of non-judgmental communication to be really creative?”

He then proceeds to ask the questions that a psychologist would ask,

“Is creativity…

An ability?
A stable (personality) trait?
A (mood) state?
A thinking style?”

When I read that question, it sparked thought. Maybe we are all able, but some would rather not open up the creative side and simply follow the rules. To follow that statement, have you ever noticed while doing a project for school, the people who strictly follow the rules? It’s all black and white, they have to be told everything to do in able to feel that their project will be acceptable. Then there are the people that come up with the coolest things and you totally question how that idea came to them! Those projects are always the best and the most inspiring… at least, to me. Anyways, within his next few paragraphs he discusses the psychological questions being asked. The discussion that caught my attention the most, was his words about creativity being a “state.” He asks, “Can it be induced by music, watching a film, even detecting a powerfully evocative smell?” I really enjoyed this question, but didn’t enjoy his answer. He begins to talk about drinking and how he alters your thinking, which allows for more creative “confessions.” He never once, however, thought about the people who are creative without drugs or alcohol. The actors who can’t practice drunk, the dancers who can’t move with alcohol in their system. I guess after these statements that leads to the question of “What is considered a creative activity?” I will leave that definition up to you!

You may be asking, “Can anybody be creative without alcohol/drugs in their system?”… but I completely believe we can. I am a dancer. I don’t drink. I don’t do drugs. I don’t enjoy the idea of those things but will never stop anyone from doing it. Anyways, as a dancer I feel that creativity is constantly being brought up. We have to choreograph dances. We have to come up with new ways to train our muscles. We have to enhance our minds by finding new inspiration. We are constantly thinking of ways to change or better ourselves. With that, comes creativity. Finding new, and FUN things to do to make our lives less hellish.

Overall I enjoyed Furnham’s post. However, I  wish that he would have gone into more detail within each topic. I felt while reading it that he was being vague or not answering the questions with as much mind power as he has. He does however bring very intriguing ideas and questions to the table which is what makes the post easier to get into.

“Big Magic”


I know, I know… I didn’t use an alliteration for this blog title but I promise it’s for a good cause. In my AP Lang class we are required to read a non-fiction book published in 2015 or 2016. Once we have finished the book we are to write a review/argument for or against what the author wrote.

“Big Magic” written by Elizabeth Gilbert who also wrote “Eat Pray Love.” Within her book, “Big Magic”, Gilbert discusses how to live a creative life without judgement, fear, or anything else you can imagine. She tells personal stories of finding her creativity, she also tells stories of when she was writing “Eat Pray Love” and how she wasn’t writing to help others but to write for her own clarity.

When I first looked at the book I was instantly intrigued. Being a dancer, I am always looking for creativity, or for a way to increase my creative thinking. Along with that, over the course of the last two years I have built up my self confidence. It took me a while to understand my confidence and how to build it. It also took me a while to believe that what I was doing was worth it, that me changing who I was would end with me being happier and healthier. Let me tell you one thing, if I had heard about this book while I was trying to change my life, things would have been way, way easier.

Beginning the book, I was excited and really into how she wrote. I felt a personal connection to her, both with the tone and diction but with her personal experiences. Then I came to a chapter of her book  that basically spoke the exact words that I use all of the time. She is a universal writer, anyone could pick up the book and understand what she is saying. I believe she chose to write this way so she could open up this broad idea, to a broad audience. You don’t even have to be a creative person, she discusses that as well. Along with discussing creativity she talks about fear. I completely agree with how she chooses to describe how we need fear to be creative. For if we didn’t have fear, we would all make stupid decisions and art wouldn’t be as beautiful and sacred as it is.

All I have to say is that I am thoroughly impressed by Elizabeth Gilbert and would love to finish out this book and read her others.

Merry Media

Social Media. A waste of time? The best thing to ever happen?

En mi opinion, social media isn’t completely useless, but isn’t completely necessary. Sure, it allows you to see things from people you would have never met in real life. It also allows for more insight to creative ideas. There are obviously some bad sides to social media as well. People are more bold and daring when they don’t have to see the reaction to the people they’re hurting. Social media gives us the opportunity as well, to create an ideal life that we wish we lived. With the occasional artsy picture or the outstanding selfie, we create an almost too good to be true life. “Picture perfect.”

I used to rely on checking my social media. It saved me from awkward confrontation and the feeling of being lonely. When I was bored, it was my savior. When I needed something to do, that was my go to. It used to be part of my nightly routine. Before I would let myself fall asleep, I would have to check my Snapchat, Instagram, and Twitter. I would let myself sit on the internet for almost an hour and then complain the next morning about not getting enough sleep. HA. How dumb of me. So recently I decided to delete my social media from my phone. Not delete the account, but the app from my homepage. For the first week I would laugh at myself constantly, I was always going to check my social media but I didn’t have any!:) It was only then that I started to realize how much time I had been wasting while checking my social media. After some thought, I was actually very upset with myself. Upset with our generation. We love social media, almost every picture we take has the purpose of being posted to a social cite.

This is not me telling you to delete your social media completely, or that I think we are a horrible generation, but I’m asking that you take a second to reconsider. Take note of how many times you are checking social media. Take note of when you are checking it… What is going on around you that is making you check your social media? Who is around you that brings you to staring at your screen? Once you’ve taken a second to consider all of the reasons you might be doing this, decide how it makes you feel.

Audition Advice

This week marks the last time that I will be auditioning for my high school dance team. It is a bitter but utterly sweet moment. One thing you should know, is that auditions suck… Learning the dance and trying new styles are fun, but the amount of pressure and stress it puts on you is crazy.

Lets go back in time…

I was auditioning for the dance team during my final year in middle school. I knew basically everyone trying out because I had gone to school with them forever. However, I didn’t know how they danced, or how they practiced. For dance team auditions, you begin on Monday and learn a dance/ practice it, until Thursday (the day of the tryout). Throughout the week you learn the piece and try to perfect it as much as you can. Of course the judges understand that not every dancer/dance can be perfect, but they do expect some pretty good auditions. Our coach has us write our emails and phone numbers that we would like to be contacted on. I had recently switched my phone number so I guessed because I was in a hurry to warm up. Our coach calls us on the Saturday after auditions to tell us if we made it or not. The deal is, if you didn’t make it, you don’t get a call.

I didn’t get a call. All day, I sat waiting. When the window of time that she was going to call closed I was dead inside. I questioned everything I had ever done. I questioned if I still wanted to dance at all. I questioned if I should even try throughout high school. I talked to my dance teacher to figure out why I wouldn’t have made it. My parents tried to console me. The conclusion we came to, was that I should email the coach and ask what I could work on for next year. Within 30 minutes of the email sent to my coach, she responded. Her response, the best thing I could have ever received. She said “I am sorry to have to tell you this way, but you made the team! I tried calling 6 or 7 times but the phone numbers didn’t work. I also tried to email your mom but that wouldn’t send either. Do I have the wrong information?” At that moment, tears rushed to my eyes, my heart was pounding. I screamed and crashed into my dads big comforting chest! Of course, I forgot to tell him why I was freaking out, so he just hugged me. Then after I had caught my breath and concealed my excitement I told him all about it! I was so happy and so excited I could have ran a mile!!!!

My advice to you, is to know your phone number, and write legibly during an audition. Also I must say, that if you don’t get what you want, don’t blame the other people and don’t blame yourself. Try to understand the situation and forget about how angry you might be. Who knows, you getting over that feeling may lead you to monumental happiness!

Real Relationships

I’ve recently decided that I have been a hypocrite to all of you. I say that you should be doing things for yourself and loving the decisions you make, however, I do not love the decisions I have made in the past and I sincerely don’t do things for myself. I feel that I always answer to whomever calls upon me. I put them before myself or I try to protect their feelings instead of mine. Not anymore.

I sit everyday in the same room as a couple of my friends and my boyfriend. There is another couple, a freshman boy and girl that sit in there with us and they are happy. Very happy together. The girls friends sit in there with her everyday, until recently. I was not in the room but I guess her and her boyfriend left and all of her friends started talking horribly about “How she can’t do anything without her boyfriend”, or that she “does everything with him.” This here, ladies and gentlemen, is jealousy. My friends reacted with crazy amounts of attitude and rudeness to the fact that they weren’t being a real friend to her. So within the next day, they were not allowed to sit in the room anymore.

The funny part to this story is that they did the exact same thing to me. They didn’t do it about a year ago from this incident, the did this to me about a month before it happened to the other girl in the room. My friends ridiculed and insulted me. They said that I spend too much time with my boyfriend and that I can’t do anything without him. Not only did they discuss the fact that I’m with him all of the time, but they decided to comment on the fact that I am always at dance. They also commented on the fact that I have to share time with my parents. (One night with my dad, is not too much to ask for.)

How ironic.

So as I’ve decided to not be a hypocrite to all of you. I have come to the conclusion that my friends must not really care about me or they wouldn’t say what they have said. They may care, but not about how I feel. They may care, but they have never put themselves in my shoes. I have little to no time for him, let alone myself, so finding a schedule that works, is not easy. To them, I am sorry for not giving you the time you feel you deserve, and I wanted to… but that won’t happen now.

 

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